"you're pretty for a big girl", "you're sexy but big". "you have a pretty face". These are just some of the backward comments I get from some people. “For a big girl” what does that mean? Does the size of my body define my beauty or sex appeal? Does being big = not attractive? I wasn’t always this size, but even when I was a size 6, my body was up for discussion. It was over sexualized by men and girls would tell me what diet or exercise plan I should do to lose my little pudge belly which I’ve always had.
For years I suffered with low self esteem because of comments like these and worse. I was bullied, I didn’t fit in and I felt like my body wasn’t appreciated but something to be used and talked about. I was tired of it quiet frankly and I said enough is enough. Who are these people to tell me what is acceptable beauty or not? Why did their opinion of my body matter so much? Why did their opinion define my worth?
I began to change my mental attitude towards my body. I looked in the mirror everyday and said Nicole you are beautiful no matter what; even if I didn’t believe it, I said it until I did. I began to define my own beauty, I began to love myself, I began to accept every curve, roll and cellulite because this was my body. The body that gave birth to three beautiful children, the body that survived abuse, the body that over came sickness. The body that ate some damn good food and enjoyed every bite of it! The body that God gave me; and at every stage in my life from a size 6 to a size 16, I know that I was fearfully and wonderfully made.
We all have something about our bodies we don’t like and if you can change it do it! But make sure you are doing it for the right reasons and that you are doing it for YOU. Above all else, love your body for where she is now. Appreciate the battles she has fought and won, appreciate the journey she has taken you on. Appreciate her and love her now, so you can love and appreciate her later.
Be good to her and she will be good to you.
- signed, my beautiful body. #bodypositive #selflove #knowyourworth#bigboldbeautiful
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